My girlfriend and i have been taking a break for about two weeks after we had been dating for one year. She talks to another guy constantly. Im upset a lot of the time but i try to work through it. She says she still has feelings for me and we still hang out. I have asked her back out and she said she doesnt know what she wants right now. I need help with this. I need this girl back. I love her. any tips or suggestions will help thank you.
Breaks… I don’t believe in "let’s take a break"… Here’s what I believe:
I believe she doesn’t feel attracted to you anymore… And don’t feel bad about it… because it happens to a lot of guys! Please don’t take it personal… especially since you’re going to fix everything…
In many cases, women will tolerate a lot of crap from their partners without ever thinking of leaving the relationship… as long as they feel one primary emotion… and that’s called ATTRACTION.
I guess the actual reason she’s "taking a break" is boredom. She’s probably getting bored with you because you’re not a challenge anymore. She’s not attracted to you anymore.
In a relationship, men usually tend to lose their masculine traits and their personality by letting their girlfriends lead the relationship… and here’s what usually happens:
1. You tend to do only what she wants you to do, even if that’s not exactly what you want.
2. You change your preferences because she likes a certain music style, food, clothing, hairstyle etc…
3. You don’t always have plan in mind (i.e. when she asks you where you want to go out, you’re out of ideas and you let her chose… again).
Seems difficult? Well, women love a "man with a plan" and if you’re not willing to become one, you’ll face this issue over and over again.
Now, here’s what to do:
1. Stop listening to anyone who tells you to tell her how you feel. Because she knows how you feel already, she knows that she can have you anytime she wants… and that’s why you’re not a challenge anymore.
2. Break contact with her as soon as possible if you can. If she wanted a break, give it to her.
As crazy as this might seem, this is a crucial step in getting her back and there is a scientific and psychological explanation for it. It’s very unlikely to get her back to you if you ignore this step and here’s why:
1. If you do contact her, you will most likely act needy and insecure because you want her and she doesn’t want you. Usually, who cares less controls the relationship and, if she controls the relationship, she will eventually lose attraction for you for good. Please, don’t become her best friend… Lovers and best friends are totally different things…
2. It’s impossible to install the fear of loss inside her if you do not break the contact. If you don’t contact her, it’s like pushing her away… and it makes her wonder why. She will then become intrigued and start to think that you’ve moved on. Typically, humans only realize the value when it’s gone and this is an essential step she needs to take before you can get her back.
3. After breaking up (or, just taking a break in your case), she will tend to use you as a mean to get over the breakup and heal herself. If you don’t contact her, you force her to be lonely and face reality without you.
So, let’s sum up:
- break contact with her as soon as possible for at least 3 weeks (I know how hard it is… You will feel terrible… Are you in the same school? There are some ways to do this right even if you live together! So don’t panic…)
- get ready for the big moment… become the leader… learn about how you can make her feel attracted to you again.
I really can’t make this answer any longer… I’m not sure if anyone will actually read this (sometimes people answer a question and then.. forget about it)… But, I like to think you will do read it, apply everything and get her back into your arms… Because this is very powerful stuff…
I wish you good luck.
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