Okay, so it’s kind of a complicated situation -
I was dating my ex for about eight-nine months. We got along great – we were compatible physically, sexually, and mentally. However, I had this security problem. I felt like I had to flirt with other guys so it looked like I was this girl that could be easily lost and some other shit like that. I KNOW. THAT IS RETARDED. I never should have done that, and I’ll never do it again.
A few months into our relationship, I cheated on him with someone I had no feelings for. He forgave me after that, and our relationship was better than before. However, this same guy cornered me again when I was drunk and asked for a blowjob. I gave him one. I didn’t want to, I didn’t like it, and after about twenty seconds I was so disgusted with myself that I left. I told my boyfriend about it a week later and he broke up with me.
It’s been two weeks; I went through the whole crying and begging thing, and I’ve calmed down a lot now. We hang out again, and he really wanted to be friends with me. I tried telling him I didn’t think I could do that and then he just about begged me to stay friends with me. We hung out yesterday, and had a good time. But then we ended up having sex and having a serious conversation about our past relationship. He got angry when the cheating thing was brought up – in fact, he would barely talk about it.
In essence, he said that he can’t take me back for cheating on him with the same person twice, because it’s morally wrong. But from how he acts and from what he says, I can tell that he still loves me and misses me. We decided not to be friends with benefits because it hurt both of us too much. He still invites me to hang out with him and his friends, and we made plans to do something together Thursday. From our conversation yesterday, he seemed genuinely surprised about how much I actually cared about him.
Will he ever take me back? Do I just need to give him time to get over the anger and bring it up again? Because right now, whenever he thinks about it, all he thinks about is how angry he is over it.
I know what I did was wrong. I know I never should have cheated on him. I never will again. This experience was a big eye opener for me. But I don’t want to lose this man – he fulfills me and challenges me in so many different ways, and he’s the only person I’ve really felt this connected with.
It seems part of my message was censored. The starred out thing is supposed to say b1owj0b.
Also, I’m not a guy. I don’t know why it says my name is Kurt.
You don’t deserve a 2nd chance. Live and learn from this mistake.
You will be sure to think twice about lying to the next guy who comes around.
We all make mistake so leave this one in the past and let go of the guy. He deserves better and you will be fine in the future.
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