How do I prove to my girlfriend that Im not just after sex?
I really love the girl Im with, and we flirt a lot. A lot of it is physical, and she starts most of it. But because of unfortunate past relationships she doesnt trust guys as readily as she used to. We both love each other, but how can I earn her trust and prove Im not just trying to get in her pants?
simple, don’t try to get in her pants.
Comments
Leave a Comment
not have sex with her for a while
References :
wait for her until she’s ready, you’ll know when she is. Just tell her that there’s no need to rush things and that you should take things slowly.
References :
tell her that. tell her that you will wait as long as she needs
References :
Buy $40 worth of bubble wrap, take her to a sand dune and roll down it.
References :
Ranch
simple, don’t try to get in her pants.
References :
maybe u can do something romantic and sweet but not dirty and then tell her to take her own time over it.
References :
just be sweet and cuddle shy away from sexual acts until shes ready.
References :
Wear a thong and feather duster and prance around eating French fancies talking about Twilight
References :
Spend a lot of time with her without being intimate. If you truly love her, you won’t have a problem with this and you are showing her that it’s not all you think about.
References :
Don’t go out of your way to TRY to prove it….then it will seem fake.
Just be yourself, if that’s not all that your after, it will eventually show.
But some people, unfortunately are just damaged goods…and she may never believe you, but it won’t be because of you.
References :
Your girlfriend is exactly where I am. And I wish I could know what is it that could actually make me go back to trusting again. It’s a big, huge blind leap of faith for women like us! And that is something that you have to understand. Giving her all the time in the world is the only advice I can give you. I mean and if she is the one who starts getting physical most of the times it’s because she really wants to do it, she just can’t!! It’s all of those walls she had to build around herself before in order not to get any more hurt, and now she has to tear it all down slowly. Good news is, all that initiative is definitely a great sign, she shouldn’t be too far from getting there now.
Waiting and being just as caring and loving as you can be is all you can do I’m afraid. Yep, love and patience are the way!
And good luck to you two love birds!
References :
Someone who has been through hell and is still struggling to come back. It’s a one day at the time kind of thing.
like mississ said,don’t have sex with her some time…. and you will prove her!
References :
Ready for a long read?
Do You Love Her – Prove It
or
How To Get In a Shy Girl’s Pants
by yeda_2000
Unfortunately, there is no real way to "prove it". She can’t read your mind, and can never really know.
That said, her behaviour, initiating flirty & physical interactions, could mean more than one thing. As one user already mentioned, it could mean that part of her does want to have sex, but she’s afraid of giving that part of herself to you and then having her heart broken. It might, however, mean that she fears you will leave if she doesn’t give you some hope, just like some girls have sex because they are afraid their guys will leave otherwise.
Now, onto my recommendations:
When she comes onto you like it sounds like she has been, stop her, hold her chin and look her in the eye, and tell her something along the lines of "Look, I love you, and because of that, I want to be with you, but I can wait. If you aren’t ready, maybe we should find something else to do".
If she gets sick, bring her soup. If she throws up, hold her hair back. If someone dies, let her cry on your shoulder. Basically, find opportunities to do things for her that are not necessarily fun for you. Take care of her, but don’t act like it’s a big deal, don’t expect brownie points, and don’t pat yourself on the back. You’re doing these things because they are opportunities to spend time with her, even if her face is red and blotchy and her mouth smells like yesterdays breakfast.
Don’t crowd her. Yes, do all the above for her, but, for instance in the case of her being sick, call first and ask if she wants soup and to hang out watching movies. No girl likes it if you show up without warning while she looks like death.
Put the focus of the relationship on fun and relaxation. Don’t try to be romantic, which will only make her think you are trying to get some.
Feel free to kiss and cuddle, but avoid getting hot and heavy. No under the clothes stuff. Once you have firmly established your relationship’s focus as fun, friendship, care, and trust, you can a little hotter, over time.
Down the road, when your physical relationship is back to where it is now but you’ve still maintained you status as her best friend:
If you can have open conversations about sex and she lets you know in some way that you are earning her trust, during a particularly hot and heavy make out/petting session, tell her you would really like to do something for her, but that it’s ok if she not into it. Ask her if you can do anything to give her more pleasure, like going down on her.
Hopefully she will be receptive to the idea. If not, back off; don’t make a big deal about it. Tell her that if she ever does want you to, you’re willing. If she accepts, pleasure her; ask her if you’re doing what she likes, etc. Do not worry about your own needs. Keep your pants on.
Once she either says she wants you to stop, or she finishes and collapses in a puddle of goo, cuddle her.
Eventually, your relationship might be strong enough that she will be receptive to the idea of giving you a hand job, going down on you, etc, and eventually you will, hopefully progress to full trust and acceptance (sex in all its beauty).
References :
I’m a chick who’s dated chicks. I know what we like.
Hello everyone,