How can I get my ex husband out of my life and get my freedom back?
I separated from my husband at the beginning of the year after a 10 yr marriage. He had been having an affair for the last 3 years and towards the end of the marriage, after I found out about the affair, we had an argument that ended in him being charged with assault, he had attacked me. Never a violent man before. Since he left he has been very controlling and both emotionally and financially abusive towards me. I’ve since met a man who lives in Brisbane and want to know how I can legally move to be with him with my children. The law states that I can’t move more than 200km from my ex husband so that he can see his children and if I do move I run the risk of him involving lawyers and authorities to get the kids back…fees I can’t afford and I don’t want to risk losing the children to him. The kids are 3 and 6. Our parenting orders have yet to be made legal. I just want him to be out of our lives. It doesn’t seem fair that after all this abuse and an affair, me and the children have to still be under his control. Also, my ex husband is a financial director and I am a housewife who now has to find a job (after years of supporting his career) and find an income that can provide a good life for my children because their father will not give us more than he has to. What should I do? What can I do?
you have children together so he will always be in your life but you can take control so he knows next to nothing about your life, he will have to know the basics your address and contact number but that’s where it ends as a ex he doesn’t need to know anything else about your life. your personal life is just that until the children become involved with Your new partner. if the children are young you could go on benefits for a while or look for suitable work that fits around their lives good luck xx
he is always going to be in your life because of the children
your freedom is what you make of it
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life
Off the record..I’d hire a couple of big guys with base ball bats to pay him a little visit and put the fear of god in him.
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Keep a good record of every nasty and inappropriate thing he does, make sure there’s plenty of evidence. Then at the very least, you can apply for a new order allowing you to move.
Unfortunately I have no idea what Australia says about this. But generally parenting orders (custody orders) can be changed if you have a chance at getting a better job in another state and it requires that you relocate. Then the court can consider the impact on you (slavery) vs your ex husband who seems to be financially secure (he can afford to come visit with his children).
You should hire a lawyer. Trying to do this on your own is going to be much worse in the end.
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There isn’t anything you can do. He has a right to be in the children’s lives.
You can go before the judge and tell him your story about why you want to move but honestly, I doubt the judge will change his mind about moving with the children.
If you do go against the court orders and move, they will put a warrant out for your arrest and more then likely charge you with violating a court order and kidnapping.
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It would be interesting to hear the other side of this. Go by the law and stay legal.
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Why why why why why are you going to move in with your children to a man’s house you hardley know after they’ve been through this hell? That is selfish! You need to focus on them right now. I personally have a great step-dad but can promise you they are few and far between. Don’t you know 1 in 3 is the estimated statistic for child molestation??? You have to do what the courts tell you.
As far as your ex, stay neutral with him. He only has the power to control what you let him. If he has court mandated support, let him pay it through them and not to you. Report it each time it is a day late. Keep it like a business. If you are meeting him for visitation of the kids, stay no more than 10 minutes, if he isn’t there to pick them up leave, he didn’t show, avoid doing that at your house, too much emotion there! If he doesn’t bring them back on time, call the cops. I assume you have specific directions from the court. Follow it to the letter! You have the upper hand now, take it!
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Your complaints are marital, not related to parenting. Is he a bad father? Because if he’s not, you owe it to the CHILDREN you made with him to keep their relationship with their dad intact. The court recognizes it, and you need to stick to it. Why find a man in Brisbane when you are required to live where you are? Bad planning, guaranteed to cause lots of angst. Start looking again and find a man where you, your children and THEIR FATHER live.
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you have children together so he will always be in your life but you can take control so he knows next to nothing about your life, he will have to know the basics your address and contact number but that’s where it ends as a ex he doesn’t need to know anything else about your life. your personal life is just that until the children become involved with Your new partner. if the children are young you could go on benefits for a while or look for suitable work that fits around their lives good luck xx
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You really can’t nor should you. He may be your ex-husband but he isn’t your kids’ ex-father. You don’t have to have him "gone" to end the controlling.
Without knowing more details, I’m not worried about what you describe as an isolated violent incident. Someone who was "never a violent man before" doesn’t "become" one.
Not familiar with the law where you are but "the law states that I can’t move . . . " sure looks like the answer to your question from where I’m sitting.
What should you do? You should seek out divorced people who are getting along with their ex’s and learn how they do it. Avoid people in your own situation. They can only teach you how to perpetuate the problem.
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The well being and the safety of your children should come first. That may mean remaining in your situation until you get custody of the children. Men come and go and situations can change. Do not jeopardize or risk losing the children or you will regret this the rest of your life. In the US we have restraining orders, perhaps you should consider this. I would not be getting involved in another relationship until this ordeal is solved. Perhaps you have a good friend or relative that could come live with you to give you support while you are going through this. Please keep yourself and the children safe.
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give your ex the children and sign over your parental rights.You dont care about the kids or you wouldnt be doing this anyway.Stop being selfish and do what is right for your children.
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you all must have no idea what it’s like to be abused by the man who is supposed to love and protect you. He is not a good fther if he show hurting and torturing mommy is ok. I’ve lost my son in order to be free of his tourment. I still love, miss and ache ever so deaply for my youngest child, but I have to grow. He wont let me see him, he still abuses me any way he can, so I am trying to drop it all, I explained it to my son who is 16. Told hil I will forever love him but in order for my daughter and I to heal and grow and not live in consyant drama I must move on. She can live with whoever she wants, he is abusive not her.
you can live with the other guy if youre married to him
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