How can I get my boyfriend to control his anger?

Posted in How to get boyfriend back by Admin on August 17, 2009 18 Comments

My boyfriend gets really defensive if anyone makes a comment about his height compared to me. I am about 5’10" and he is 5’8". I love him and he is my guy. He is a huge weightlifter and does ultimate fighting stuff so is not afraid of anyone. But he has an anger problem. Tonight at a party some tall guy said he was too short for me and he just went off and beat the guy silly. I guess the other guy ended up with a concussion.

How can I get my boyfriend to control his anger?

Hey. I had a boyfriend with a similar problem, he wasnt a body builder or anything, but his anger was a big problem. When we fought he would break things and take on an almost completely different person. What worked for us, when he blew at me, was putting out the flame basically. If he yelled at me, I’d try to keep myself composed and kill the anger. For instance. He says: "Shut up! I never said that, this is your fault!" Instead of saying something in retaliation, say something like. "Ok.." Make is solemn and kinda defeated. Even if your acting, He’ll feel bad, and want to comfort you. Angry people are usually protective and soft inside.
With other people, no matter what he says don’t yell at him. Try to touch his arm or something comforting to bring him to reality. When someone snaps, they aren’t thinking clearly. Be gentle with him, and try to boost his ‘ego.’ the anger is possibly to make up for what he thinks is a short comming. and weight lifting is great for him to let go of some of the anger!

hope i was of some help ^_^

Comments
  • Mr. Taco:

    You can’t. Only he can. You can tell him to work on it or you’ll leave him. Other than that, you are wasting your time with him. And I have news for you. If he is a violent person and cannot learn to control himself, he WILL turn that violence on you one day. I guarantee it.
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  • Mysterious George:

    You need to sit him down and talk to him. Explain to him the reason why you don;t like it, and if it makes you feel scared, tell him. No real man ever wants to scare his girly.
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  • Melissa K:

    Only he can control his anger. Tell him what you just told us.
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  • ladybold04:

    You don’t try to control his anger, just stay the heck away from him. Scary.
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  • M!SS Shagg-a-lott!:

    maybe he needs anger managment classes
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  • :D<3:

    be like "if u calm down i’ll show u a little fun"
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  • windmill jouster:

    You can’t. Only a professional therapist can. All you can do is get away from the nut case until he gets help. One of these days he might turn his anger on you.

    A couple of years from now, you’ll be asking how you get away from an abusive husband.

    "But I love him." She says as the emergency room doctor stitches her wounds and sets broken bones.

    I’ve seen it too many times.
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  • Love:

    Chances are you won’t be able to. My dad is not physically abusive but he has been verbally abusive to my mom and I for years. He flies off the handle at any little thing, is easily offended, and gets angry if you have an opinion different than his. Sounds like your bf could easily turn into someone like him or even worse. Most guys like that are not interested in changing because many won’t admit to themselves that they even have a problem. He may treat you okay right now but that will likely change if you’re together awhile.
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  • Jack H:

    I’d get away from him before he starts getting angry at you. Only a matter of time with the roids.
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  • peach:

    you can only tell him you feel bad when he loses his temper…but you cant help him control it…but ya the guy was an IDIOTfor saying that, he deserves the beating lol
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  • Christy V:

    you can’t my mom tried to lessen my step dads anger and it didnt work. he constantly breaks things and yells alot. he is a really bad husband and step dad. sometimes people are just born that way and we have to do our best to avoid them, no matter how hard it is. i dont know about you but i wouldnt want a head case being my bf. people with anger problems are the worse. because once they get going they dont stop. my advice, to try to avoid him or even break up with him, no matter how hard it may be. if you be with him in the end it will only cause you pain and heartache.
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  • AW:

    You can’t do anything..He has to 1.accept that he has anger issues and 2. want to do something about it. Wish people could fix other people but it doesn’t work that way.
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  • gotta_luv_mika:

    U CAN’T….THAT IS SOMETHING HE HAS TO DO FOR HIMSELF…SOMETIMES THIS KND OF THING LEADS INTO ALL KINDS OF BAD DOWN THE ROAD FOR THE GIRL..
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  • emmabugg:

    if he is really that angry and sensitive about stuff like that then he has a problem and he should go to anger management. I would leave him though because he sounds dangerous if he loses his temper at the smallest thing. who knows what he could do to you someday. you dont want to become one of those battered women.
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  • andrea:

    Tell him its scares you and that you love him and that he needs to go to help.
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  • .:xXZIGXx:.:

    You can’t, he has to, you should sit him down and talk to him how it’s upsetting to see the man you love beat peopel silly…
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  • Kri:

    Hey. I had a boyfriend with a similar problem, he wasnt a body builder or anything, but his anger was a big problem. When we fought he would break things and take on an almost completely different person. What worked for us, when he blew at me, was putting out the flame basically. If he yelled at me, I’d try to keep myself composed and kill the anger. For instance. He says: "Shut up! I never said that, this is your fault!" Instead of saying something in retaliation, say something like. "Ok.." Make is solemn and kinda defeated. Even if your acting, He’ll feel bad, and want to comfort you. Angry people are usually protective and soft inside.
    With other people, no matter what he says don’t yell at him. Try to touch his arm or something comforting to bring him to reality. When someone snaps, they aren’t thinking clearly. Be gentle with him, and try to boost his ‘ego.’ the anger is possibly to make up for what he thinks is a short comming. and weight lifting is great for him to let go of some of the anger!

    hope i was of some help ^_^
    References :
    My x b/f and mother

  • Kris R:

    well, he has to control it himself. but what you can do is just ignore him when he tries complaining about things to you. unless hes going to beat you up, hell just feel silly for getting all angry.

    fight his anger with peace. have a nice, calm energy, and try to distract him too. maybe change the subject to something hed look forward to, or make him laugh it off.
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