How can I get my boyfriend to compliment and reassure me more often?
I have Borderline Personality Disorder (he knows about it, and he doesn’t care). Because of this, I’m constantly feeling ugly and fat. I also get really paranoid that my boyfriend is mad at me, even when he’s not.
I don’t want him to think I’m annoying because I always say "I’m ugly" or ask him if he’s angry. How can I get him to compliment and reassure me?
The only person who can control your feelings is you. You are in charge of how you feel, not your boyfriend! You have to understand, that for a relationship to work, you need to be happy with who you are first.
Imagine if he was the one that was constantly saying how ugly or fat he was… After a while, I am sure that even the most patient person would start to get frustrated.
You have to start working on yourself. Start being more assertive, more confident and more happy with yourself.
If you start being happier with you, then I am sure that he will compliment you more. I am sure that he will appreciate the confidence that you have found in yourself.
One more things I would like to add is : If you can’t really stand being around you, then how are other people supposed to stand being around you?
Increase your own happiness and don’t expect others to do it for you.
If that is all true, the problem is with you and not him. You are insecure; you can’t expect him to make you secure with yourself, only you can do that.
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Someone sounds a little NEEDY here. You will lose this guy if you keep this attitude.
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Think about it, if he’s your boyfriend he obviously likes you, so youre not ugly to him! and if he hasn’t broken up with you, its because he’s not mad at you or anything!
i dont think there sa way to get him to give you more compliments/reassurance, just keep telling yourself youre pretty and that he loves you, and fight your borderline personality disorder. If you keep asking him, it might be annoying.
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my brain
first of all. you ARENT UGLY if you have a bf. if its his first relationship he probably doesnt know what to do when he’s around you … if not he might just not give compliments.
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The only person who can control your feelings is you. You are in charge of how you feel, not your boyfriend! You have to understand, that for a relationship to work, you need to be happy with who you are first.
Imagine if he was the one that was constantly saying how ugly or fat he was… After a while, I am sure that even the most patient person would start to get frustrated.
You have to start working on yourself. Start being more assertive, more confident and more happy with yourself.
If you start being happier with you, then I am sure that he will compliment you more. I am sure that he will appreciate the confidence that you have found in yourself.
One more things I would like to add is : If you can’t really stand being around you, then how are other people supposed to stand being around you?
Increase your own happiness and don’t expect others to do it for you.
References :
well I don’t think he would be with you if you weren’t pretty. and some guys just aren’t like that and don’t compliment their girlfriends. but if this is really a problem to you he would understand and help you with it if he already knows. you could just tell him about it again and tell him youfeel ugly because he doesn’t compliment you. or you could compliment him first. try that maybe he feels the same way.
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